bell hooks & Big House -- "Living by a Love Ethic"

Gloria Jean Watkins aka bell hooks passed away on Wednesday, December 15, 2021.  If you're reading this post, you probably are somewhat familiar with her writings and philosophy of life. 

In 2020 my African American Experience class at Glendale Community College was assigned to read two chapters in bell hook's book: "all about love -- New Visions." 

My response: We’ve read, written, thought and discussed many angles of the African American experience this semester. It’s been a tremendous journey, one that has caused me to think deeply about the uniqueness of growing up Black in America, its challenges and its joys. So much of the Black/African American experience is tied to the legacy of slavery and the pain and suffering that has emanated from a society that five centuries ago defined a group of people from the continent of Africa as chattel, rendering them to be thought of by the majority as less than or other.

When you understand the physical and psychic damage that has been heaped on Blacks in America for centuries, the decision by Professor Stamps to conclude our class by assigning chapter readings, “Living by a Love Ethic (Values)” and “Redemptive Love (Healing),” from bell hooks’ “All About Love” is inspiring and thoughtful. Why? Because hooks’ thoughts on the power and resiliency of love is essential in understanding the challenges Black Americans have faced for generations in practicing a love ethic that can overcome the generational wounds that come with growing up Black in America.

I’ve read many articles by bell hooks, but I’ve never read one of her books. “All About Love” will be the first book by hooks that I’ll read. I’ve studied the concept of love for many years. The theme of the eulogy I gave for my father at his memorial celebration was titled, “Big House – The Lover.” I quoted M. Scott Peck’s definition of love from “The Road Less Travelled:”

“Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth... Love is as love does. Love is an act of will -- namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.” 

Do Peck’s words remind you of someone else’s philosophy of love? Yes, bell hooks is a disciple of Peck, as am I, and it’s natural for me to be attracted to her thoughts on love. 

I like hooks “love ethic” phraseology and definition. As obsessed as American culture is with inculcating a strong work ethic in its citizens, we should be equally obsessed with inculcating a strong love ethic. Are we as obsessed? hooks states that “the underlying values of culture and its ethics shape and inform the way we speak and act.” Are Americans speaking and acting civilly towards each other? I think not, and I think it’s incumbent upon us to heed Thomas Moore’s thoughts and “reevaluate the values that undergird our lives and make choices that affirm our interconnectedness with others.”

What are the principles of a love ethic? “Showing care, respect, knowledge, integrity, and the will to cooperate.” What are the conditions that must exist for a love ethic to flourish: “everyone has the right to be free, to live fully, and to be well.” Those words have a familiar ring: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” So ask yourself this question: if you deprive a select group of people “the right to be free, to live fully, and to be well,” how do you develop a strong love ethic within your community? You don’t, so society needs to embrace change to bring a love ethic to every dimension of our lives. What are “all the dimensions of love?” – “Care, commitment, trust, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.”

How does society embrace change to truly bring a love ethic to the forefront? I’ll touch on two thoughts expressed in "Living by a Love Ethic." hooks’ philosophy of love is strongly rooted in Christianity and her go-to biblical scripture is 1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

I love hooks focus on perfection, how she clarified her initial understating of “perfect” being outside of human reach (“without fault or defect”) to a more complex understanding that emphasized the will “to refine,” which allows one to focus on a daily process to enhance their love ethic.

I also appreciate Cornel West’s love and care approach in helping one (Nihilist) turn their soul: “Any disease of the soul must be conquered by a turning on one’s soul. This turning is done through one’s own affirmation of one’s worth – an affirmation fueled by the concern of others.

Simply, we just have to give a damn about our fellow citizens.

Matthew 22: 37-40 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Clarence "Big House" Gaines Memorial Celebration - My Tribute -- "Big House - The Lover" - 4/22/05